Does Mom Have to Do Your Laundry & Make Your Bed?

Nepal specific discussions on culture, spirituality and the arts
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Does Mom Have to Do Your Laundry & Make Your Bed?

Postby Ganesha » Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:49 am

In a majority of Nepali middle class households that do not have a domestic helper, children are never asked to do their laundry or make their beds. This starts with mom doing it when you start sleeping on your own bed, as a kid. In our society, moms have traditionally taken care of their kids, regardless of how many kids there are in the house. And strangely, unless if the mom is a working lady, or carries a different vision than that of the typical Nepali mom, she never asks her kids do it. Nor does the father or any close relationships ask the kids to do it. And if the kids do not learn by themselves, two things happen:

1. The mom suffers. And you realize it only late in your life. And that makes matter much worse because you suddenly realize that this wisdom never hit you and that she suffered on your behalf when you could have at least eliminated it all the while.
2. This affects your way of life. You might then grow up to believe that life is "easy" and that people always take care of you regardless of your character, both of which are completely what I could call, defective propositions and realities. You grow up to be not a fighter but a moaner.

This is just an example. There are millions of other things that a Nepali mom and dad do for their kids, things which could and should have been asked to be done by the kid. As today's grown up kids, you should not be doing the same for your own kids. Let me know your own experience on this. - nepali forum

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Re: Does Mom Have to Do Your Laundry & Make Your Bed?

Postby kazi » Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:33 pm

By some strange turn of events I turned out to be just the opposite. I have had domestic helper(s) at home always.. not that I am proud of it. And yet I have always done my laundry and my bed. In fact it bothered me when somebody else took over those responsibilities. Perhaps its was because I had lived away from home the most part of my life. But after marriage, I do not feel uncomfortable with my better half doing my laundry. One mind says I might be burdening her. But the other says that my wife and I are one and hence I have no issues. I do not know whether to be really surprised or to take it as a natural evolution of relations?

I guess I distorted your original intent. To bring the topic back on track, I think that the best way to teach children to do their own chores is to put them in a hostel where they will learn to be independent. But there is a risk to keeping children away from home as I can vouch for first hand. I think the child will either develop very close relations with family members (as was in my case with my mother) or wholly fail to develop family values (as in some cases I know).

But I think the good thing is that as long as the child is taught to think for itself and become aware, it will eventually realize that there is no happiness that can rival that which comes from family.
"Mother and motherland are more precious than heaven." But that does not mean we must cling to our mothers. The least I can do for Nepal is to bring awareness among the Nepali people. And this Nepali forum is the platform for me.

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